My Mind’s Musings

Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”  I came across this a few days ago in my devotions, and boy was it timely as God has brought it home in a direct way this week.  I did not write about it earlier, because I only wanted to talk about it if I passed; but I got a billet to go to Airborne (Jump) School at Ft. Benning GA.  For a Sailor or even a Marine, these billets are hard to get, and for a Chaplain nearly impossible, but I got one.  I really was excited about it, but knew that physically, I was going to be barely on the edge of passing the very strict standards required on the Army Physical Fitness Test.  I’m not in bad shape, in fact I usually score an Outstanding on the Navy’s PRT, but the Army has very tough standards on its push up requirements at its schools. 

Well, to make a long story short, I completed 50 pushups for the Marine Corps detachment on Thursday which allowed me to start training; but when it counted on Monday morning for the Army, I only completed 41 when I experienced complete muscle failure, instead of the required 42.  I was dropped from training, and was and am extremely disappointed in my performance.  However, for some reason I had never felt right about going to this school; and as excited as I was for the opportunity, I had an uncomfortably nervous feeling about it from the day I was asked if I could go on three weeks notice.  As disappointed as I was in my failure to meet the standards, on my drive home, I actually had a weirdly peaceful feeling about the whole experience. 

The next day as I read in Proverbs, that verse in 16:9 just jumped out at me, as if the Lord was saying that no matter what my plans were, ultimately God controls what I actually do.  I have no idea why I failed the school, but I do know that God controls my steps and there is a reason for everything.  It proved to be a time for me to refocus on why I am actually here – not to earn nice stuff to wear on my uniform – but to serve God and minister and evangelize the service members God places in my path. Soli Deo Gloria